There is an easier way to write testimonials for your dear friends on Orkut, or for that matter no sociorking site.

If you follow the guidelines below, you can easily write for friends (and by way of Orkut Testimonial Law #1 which states, "I testimony you, you testimony me"), get testimonials from friends!!

What's more, you can appear on every friend of yours profile page, praising them to heaven!!

Here it is, the guidelines you have been waiting for!

1. Start with exclamations and deep contemplatives like, 'hmmmms, ummmms' and so on
This would cause the reader to believe that you actually thought before you wrote it, which also means, you didn't copy paste it (how would they know!!).

2. Take the name of the person, or his/her nickname which only you know, or feel is exclusive
This shows that you are actually close to the person (doesn't matter if the person in cross-hairs actually feels so or not) and hence you are well qualified to write a testimonial and is worth investing time to read it.

3. Use sentences which mean the following
* that you actually searched the entire dictionary for words to describe his/her personality (no need to mention you actually failed to find words even in www.dictionary.com)
* that in spite of ur comand ovr englsh cud put GRE verbl exm to sham, you wasn't abled to found words for your fraand
* anything else that conveys your friend is un-describable by normal human language (on last count 6,912 living languages) (excluding the remote dialects considered extinct, like Mayan etc)
* that your honest attempt of finding words describing a guy/girl (like good-natured, funny, sincere etc) are total failures just because they are nothing like that

4. Use quotations borrowed from cheap imitations.
This means 2nd hand or 3rd hand, knock-offs, dubious, self-made, misunderstood and misquoted quotes from famous people.

5. Sign off with words that sound like expletives just because they have been repeated so many times in your testimonial

Mind you, these testimonials sound 100 times more original than those stupid testimonials that your stupid friend posted for you thinking it was cool because some other stupid posted it as a testimonial to a stupid hottie in his stupid friend's list which was actually a stupid sms message made from weird characters and most of the time appeared out of shape!!

I am just waiting for the day when there will be a testimonial like this:

"X is my best friend. X is a very simple yet complex, funny but serious guy/girl. And if you don't post this testimonial to 10 of your friends, you will get no testimonials from anybody for your entire life. Y posted it 10 of his friends and he was immediately flooded with testimonials from all his 1000+ friends. Z didn't post this and he was immediately disconnected from the internet, his orkut account hacked, and all his friends deleted him from their list."

Sigh... the pressures of social-networking!

Thoughts that race through the mind,
forming ideas and impressions as they rummage through those dark hidden memories

Memories that never see the light of the day, or the tip of the tongue,
their yearning pleas to be heard and listened, go unnoticed,
among the vast amount of spillage otherwise let out.

Banished into the deepest and darkest crevices of the brain,
those poor children of a sinister mind, wait for their night…

Night comes, and when the conscious sleeps,
they take over, spewing their fermented ideas out
taking shape of visuals and sounds never seen, only felt

This is their time, their realm, this is when I sleep.