Disclaimer: Ok, I know the title might be provocative/misleading, but I have to make it clear that this is about the bollywood movie.

Ever watched a B-Grade action flick on Star Movies or HBO? Observed how stupid the fight/action sequences are? After semi-watching (other semi was reserved for yawning/commenting/laughing) the movie 'Mission Istanbul', I could gather the following points.

1. Vivek Oberoi is desperate
2. If you took out the blood in a few scenes, it could as well be Rated R for gay love-making scenes (and I am not making fun of gays here)
3. One-liners in action movies are fine, as long as they are well-made and delivered by a Bruce Willis
4. If you do want to make an action movie, work on the ACTION too, even if they are in fight sequences
5. Apoorva Lakha should read "Product Placement in Movies For Dummies" before making another movie
6. Liza Lob (Swetha something) character looked like "inspired" from Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie's version) complete with the costume
7. And yes, she was cat-walk-ing a wee bit more than needed, especially after she was doing just fine in a fight sequence featuring 30 extras. The pronounced sashaying (if that indeed is a word, Hail Lord!) looked like she was trying to seduce everyone on the set and in the seat and needless to say looked like a physically challenged person
8. Was she related to the director? or the producer?
9. Wives/GFs of heroes are always stereotyped in action movies, this one was no excpetion, except that Shreya was on the receiving end. Hmph!
10. Few scenes were comfortably imported from the usual movies. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you COPY THEM PROPERLY.
11. We really really lack good action heroes.
12. Pair of shades, a goatie, french beard, gelled hair, ample show of well-toned torso is a must for any action movie made past 2002.
13. Dubbing was really bad
14. Talking hindi in Turkey, especially on TV for Turkish people is even worse. Showing Indians everywhere is also bad (even though it's true). I wonder why sub-titles are such an alien concept to us (afraid of losing illiterate crowd ticket sales???)
15. Where the HELL did Abhishek Bachchan come in from?? I understand his role is guest appearance, but if you had to insert him, you could have as well put the song somewhere meaningful!!! (unless you wanted to mislead the audience. Oh!! You CLEVER director/editor/screenplayer!!)
16. The lingo's there. All over. "What the Fs", "Holy shits", "Freakin", they are all there. Funny how the characters stopped at "what the F!!!!!". Even a school kid knows what it is.
17. Talking about kids, was it mentioned at any point that this movie was being made for kids? Oh, if they said so, then this entry would be pointless!!
18. I am not going to talk about the storyline. Nobody expects them to be perfect, not even Dark Knight was [1]
19. Why use baseball sluggers when you could finish off the business with guns, especially when you are BLOOD-THIRSTY-DANGEROUS-COOL TERRORISTS!!!!
20. The best scene of the ENTIRE movie was Dubya's first scene in Air Force Won (not One). They killed the humor by trying to use it second time. For those who don't know who Dubya is, it's George Bush.

I am gonna try to sleep now.

References:

1. Some random movie review site, or IMDB forums.